This article is dedicated to our many senior community members – but may all benefit from what is shared.

As we reach later life and get older, a tendency can be to look back and ruminate too much on bygone experiences. Somehow, we enjoy reliving past events, over and over again and even become depressed about them.

Yet, the past is not here. The person we were, our friends and enemies, as well as the actual events themselves, are long gone. When we relive a past experience, we are not reliving the exact same event. Each time we recall it, it is a different experience now in the present.

The causes and conditions that existed in the past can never be re-created in exactly the same way. And so, we simply cannot undergo the same experience again today, whether we thought it to have been wonderful or horrible.

Simply reliving the past in a continual and mindless way is not going to be helpful for us. At any time, the truth can only be found in the moment of present experience.

Nevertheless, it is natural to look back on our lives. The answer is not to reject our memories but to accept them mindfully – to understand their limitations, described above, and to then draw on them in a meaningful way.From our memories we may gain precious insights into past actions. Such reflections can also help to free us from our not-so-good habitual patterns.

Two specific ways to benefit from our memories are:

(1) To look back on our lives in a positive, loving light.

(2) To deal with any unresolved issues and on-going pain.

Here, then, are some areas to reflect on during our later years (but they apply for any stage of our lives):

Review Life Positively

It’s a time to accept ourselves and our life’s journey as it has unfolded – and to accept the choices we have made, including what we have done and not done.

It’s a time to reflect on the noble desires and intentions we hadduring our life – and to acknowledge the virtue in our lives.

It’s a time to recall our generosity – and to remember the many ways in which we contributed to the lives of others.

It’s a time to come to a deeper understanding of ourselves – and to view our life as a meaningful and unique tapestry of which we have been co-creators based on our free will.

Healing Unresolved Matters

It’s a time to let go of feelings of regret and failure – and not to continue rehearsing and clinging on to them once the lessons of life have been gained from them.

It’s a time to drop all hurts and resentments – and to deeply accept all others, knowing that no one is perfect in this life and beyond human weakness.

It’s a time to fully and unconditionally forgive ourselves and others – and to seek reconciliation where it is still possible.

It’s a time to be deeply at peace with ourselves – and to have a peaceful outlook toward all others.

In addition to looking back in a positive and meaningful way, we also need to be looking forward and to prepare for our end-of-life in the best way we can.

Preparing for Our End-of-Life

It’s a time to know what to do for ourselves before we die – and to start making appropriate decisions before death approaches.

It’s a time to know what to do for ourselves as we die – and to begin to understand the process and stages of dying as they occur.

It’s a time to understand what to do in case of a sudden death – and to be prepared if we were to die suddenly and unexpectedly (as one out of ten people do).

It’s a time to think about how to say goodbye to our family, relatives, and friends – and to consider such things as letters of gratitude or forgiveness, bequests, and having a farewell checklist.

To positively look back on our past, and to realistically prepare for our inevitable end-of-life, will not only lead to a more joyful life now, but also a more peaceful death whenever that time arrives in its unique way for each of us.

Alexander and Eva Peck (July 24, 2020)

Note: Over the last two decades, Alex and Eva have journeyed with many older community members, many of whom have now departed from this life. Additionally, Alex has taken several classes dealing with end-of-life matters from a spiritual perspective.

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