You go out for an evening meal at a local restaurant. Your table service that night is not the best. The waitress seems impatient and generally stressed. Her facial expression reflects tiredness.

Later, you find out that she is a divorcee, raising three young teenage daughters. To make ends meet, this is her second job, after already working a full nine-hour day at a busy office. Her home has a neglected appearance – lawn not mowed, missing front fence palings, and gutters filled with tree leaves.

When you learn of her background, rather than being annoyed, frustrated, and even angry over her service, a feeling of compassion comes over you – not only for her, but for all single parents and others who are struggling to make ends meet.

Suddenly, you deeply realize the truth of these words: “If we could see the whole truth of any situation, our only response would be one of compassion” (Mingyur Rinpoche). Dwelling on these words is a moment of life-changing insight and understanding!

To remember and reflect on the phrase, “if only we knew”, could save each of us much heartache, frustration, anger, and even hatred toward others and the situations we encounter!

To take time (perhaps over a cup of tea in the quiet early morning) and to let these words, “if only we knew”, sink into our hearts will leave us with a more peaceful and content outlook toward life. Even our facial expression will appear calmer and serene – and more attractive!

Finally, in relation to ourselves, “if only we knew” more deeply what really drives us in life – the beliefs and habitual patterns that lie buried in our subconscious and make us what we are and why we act the way we do – we would have greater patience and more compassion with ourselves.

Alexander and Eva Peck

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